Dear Tessa

Oh my Tessie. You are 3 years old. How is this possible? I watched you run around the Salt Creek lawn the other night with your friend Lukey, your long blond hair trailing behind you as screamed and played with delight. Then I looked over at the new baby girls Sofia and Vivian being held my their mommies sitting next to me and just couldn't believe where the time had gone. It does not seem that 3 years have passed since I was the mommy holding my new baby girl on the Salt Creek Lawn.

You have told everyone proudly the past few days that you are three and do your best to show them with your fingers. 3 is a tricky one, you sometimes have a hard time getting that pinky down, but you're getting it. When I look at you and your little peanut size package you prance around in, you don't look 3. You could pass for an early two. You're petit and weigh a mere 25 pounds. I dare say your little brother is going to be passing you up in the next year. You're light as a feather, which is good, because you're in a phase of wanting me to hold you a lot. When you're sad, or tired, or grumpy, you tell me, "Mommy, you hold me." You also LOVE to be swung around until we or you and dad are so dizzy we all collapse to the ground. These are all good reasons to be a light weight. And flitting about in your ballerina tutu's too, surely makes you light on your feet. But when you talk...you could pass for 13. You are articulate, pronunicate clearly and have a memory and vocabulary that could knock anyone's socks off. You negotiate like a CIA operative and can play a game of psycholigical warfare like a terrorist. I am convinced you think you are an adult sometimes and as a result, expect and think you are entitled to the rights and priviledges of an adult. You are smart beyond your years, this is not new however, you have always been smart beyond your years.

You have embraced your feminity with full exuberence this past year. You love all things pouffy, pink, sparkley, princessy or ballerina-y. You won't however let me brush your hair. You are convinced it's going to hurt. You love to wear "lipstick" i.e. chapstick, high heels, purses and your tutu's, ballerina dresses or princess dresses daily. I often times have to hide them and tell you they're at the cleaners or the 'fixers' (sewing up that loose thread) so you'll be forced to wear something else in that closet. I can't talk you into wearing anything. You have such great clothes and they just sit there breaking my heart while you wear the same dress (sometimes tacky ones) over and over again. You won't be talked into anything for that matter, I can barely side track or distract you these days. Like, I said, you are smart. Not to mention beautiful. Your blue eyes, golden locks, and delicate little features are going to cause us nothing but trouble in about 10 years. You are so pretty.

You love to play outside and have just recently mastered the pedals on your tricycle. You love to be with your friends, be it at the pool, park or beach. You love to play in your kitchen, do art projects, dress up, play princess, sing and dance. Sometimes you put on shows for dad and I at night. You sing sooo loud. And dance around in circles. It is so blasted funny. You'll have dad and I cracking up and then when you're done you'll say, "That was great, you guys clap for me!" You picked up ballet and tap this past year and really excelled. I was thrilled to find something for you that was all your own and that you really embraced and loved. And you are good at it. You love "big" girls. Idolize them and watch them so intently, you comment to me about them, what they're doing and ask me thier names. I just hope you will always have good "big girl" examples to look up to your whole life. And lastly, in the past 2 months, I think it's safe to say you even love your brother.

You became a big sister about 7 months ago. This was not an easy transistion for you. You really struggled letting go of that number one spot. And mom and dad struggled and still do, knowing how to help you cope with the change. But you have gone from bopping him behind our backs (or what you thought was behind our backs) to playing with him, interacting with him and making him laugh. You are the only one who can get Bode to really, fully, belly laugh. He thinks you are soooo funny. He loves to watch you, and I can often see his eyes following you around the room. You are good about sharing your toys with him, reading him stories and giving him kisses. You will be a great friend and example to him as you both get older.

You have a strong will Tessa Jane. Wow, do you have a strong will. You are determined and resolute. At times, that will has been an extraordianary challenge for mom. We've had some rough days this past year T Bug. It took me too many months to figure how to best respond to that will. What would spiral it into a tantrum, what would be an effective teaching tool, what I needed to let go and what I needed to discipline. Granted I'm still a work in progress, but I have found that if I can be patient, and maintain a calm, quiet, firm demeanor it get's us a lot further than a snap, a raised voice or a swat on the bum. Those things make you soooo mad! A few moments by yourself in the bathroom will usually bring you to a place we can have a good conversation. Your scream by the way, could crack a window, I'm convinced. Like, it hurts the eardrums! I am so certain however, that while your strong will presents itself in less than desireable ways at times, it will prove to be one of your strongest assets and charcter traits if you apply it in the right areas. You are fiesty, you will not be taken advantage of. You are confident and know you can climb something, go somewhere, fix something else, do it on your own, that I am unsure you have the ability to do, but sure enough, you do. You are a fighter. You will work and work for what you want and will most always find success, and if you need help, you are not ashamed to ask for it. You make me proud.

You are beginning to have a good understanding of who Jesus Christ and your Heavenly Father are. This makes my heart smile. You're favorite story in your Book of Mormon reader is about the Golden Plates. I have tried and tried to talk you into other great stories like Abinadi or the Strippling Warriors because I am so sick of reading that story over and over again, but as I said, you will not be persuaded and so it's Golden Plates night after night! You love your Primary class and like to sing Primary songs in the car.

You name all your dolls Allison, ask for a snack about 16 times a day (your favorites are fruit leathers), like to watch about 30 minutes of a show before bedtime and you swallow your toothpaste. If you get up in the middle of the night, you rotate between waking up mom or dad and it's always with a tap on the forehead, like the old torture technique until we wake up. Usually it's because your covers have fallen off or because you need a song. You're something else Tessa.

You will start preschool in a couple of weeks. How did we get to the point you are going to go to preschool? I am excited for you. You are going to love it and I know you will excel. I will miss you Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I love having you around and hanging out with you. I know you had a hard time when you're brother was born Tess. I know you felt like you were moved to second fiddle and I know it made you sad. For the record, I was sad too. It broke my heart to see you struggle, confused and frustrated. You and I, we were best buds. Our normal was no longer just you and I. We had to find a new one. And while it has taken us a bit to find it, I think that we have. You are still my favorite girl you know. Like you say when I ask you, "Who's my best girl?" You point to your chest and say, "Tessa!" And you're daddies best girl too. But I think you know that. You're whole face lights up when your dad gets home. It makes me happy to see you two together.

This life holds so much success for you Tessa, I feel it in my bones. You are so sharp, so determined, so funny, so dang funny. You are just 3 years old, but a mighty 3 years old. I go into your room sometimes at night when you're asleep and watch your chest rise and fall. I wonder what you're dreaming about. I always ask you in the morning if you had good dreams, and you always say yes. I have good dreams for you too Tessie. You are going to be great, you are well on your way. You are my cuckoo-catchoo. My loony bin. My favorite girl. Happy third bug-a-boo. I love you like crazy.

Love Mom