The Unspokens

So I am finding out as I progress in this little pregnancy of mine that there seems to be this list of "unspokens", things nobody, as in previously pregnant women tell you. Whether it is out of embarrassment, shame, fear that revealing such "unspokens" will scare you from ever getting prego, I really don't know the reason. All is know is I am going to throw it out there. I am going to lay it out, loud and proud so that all of you who have been pregnant or are married to someone who has been pregnant can have a good laugh and for those of you who are newly prego or are thinking about it, consider it a gift so that when such "unspokens" occur you won't find yourself going, "Seriously?!"

1. Whoever coined the phrase "morning sickness" must surely have been a man. It is all day sickness, as in from sun up to sun down. The nausea comes and goes in waves all day long and the best cure all? Eating. A great solution for early pregnancy weight gain.

2. Your breasts will become so tender that first few months that the idea of anyone, including yourself, touching them, grazing them, putting them in and out of a bra will send you into an absolute panic. This gets better with time, as does the nausea. They start to get fairly massive, and to someone like me who has never enjoyed massive breasts, this stage is a bit exciting.

3. Your nose will bleed. Alot. For no reason at all. And perhaps it will last for like 20 minutes.

4. About the time the nausea starts to fade the constipation will set in. Like you might not be able to poo for like 5 days. You will wonder of you're growing abdomen is your baby growing or just major bloatation. Your Dr. might recommend a stool softener for relief, I suggest just going to straight to the Metamucil and sticking with it twice a day. Yes, much like an 80 year old man.

5. A fun little treat than might accompany the constipation is his friend called gas. Now I consider myself to be a fairly refined, well mannered lady. But there were times where I thought, "You know, if I could just pass some gas right now that would be great, I would feel really a lot better."

6. Weight gain. This is obvious, everyone knows you gain weight. It's just that it's a little freaky. Everyone gains it differently, in different ways, in different places. I for instance do this sort of thing... no weight gain the first 2 months at all, nice. Next appointment, 6 pounds, wow! 6 pounds, one month, see freaky? Next month, no weight gain at all, nice. Next month, 8 pounds!!! What? Did you know it was even possible to gain 8 pounds in one month? My Dr. bless her heart, thinks "something must be wrong, that seems like quite a jump, maybe it's the fluid levels." I hope so Doc, I hope so.

7. You will need to visit the ladies room. Alot.

8. Even when you don't need to pee, you might. Like when you sneeze, laugh suddenly, cough. You might pee your pants just a little bit. I remember this distinctly the first time it happened. I coughed. I got a puzzled look on my face and I said to myself, "Humph, I think you just peed your pants a little."

Nothing to be ashamed of really, just all little items that come with the territory that no one is willing to talk about. Your welcome.

There are a few other things too you know, that no one tells you about. But these, I get. It's because it's impossible to describe to anyone. Impossible to explain the exhilaration when you hear her heart beat for the first time and every subsequent time. Or when you see her on a screen, teeny tiny, the size of a bean trying so hard to grow and be strong. No one can really tell you why your eyes might brim with tears while you hold you husband's hand and look at her little legs and arms, while you count her fingers and toes and when she turns to look at you and yawns, well that is just the best. It would be hard to describe the amount of time you will spend thinking about her, praying for her, wondering what she will be like, what she'll look like. No one could really explain what it's like to feel her start to move, how fun it is to watch with your husband as she kicks and in the process makes your whole stomach move. So I suppose, with all bad comes the good. Without the bitter, we could not know the sweet. And sweet, my friends, sweet it is.