Rookie Mistakes

There is a learning curve to living in a big city, in a foreign land.

The other night, we needed to get out for awhile. There were a few items I needed at the grocery store and I wanted to get the kids some pool toys. I remembered from a few nights earlier that there was a large Carrefour at the mall nearby. Similar to a Walmart. I figured we could get everything we needed there, so we headed out. By train. Rookie mistake #1. You have to have to stroller to take the train. I get off at the station and we begin our parade though the mall, I know not where an elevator is, but there are about a dozen escalators to choose from. I opt for T to hop out and will hold the stroller with Bode in it. Rookie mistake #2. In the UAE, there are security guards positioned at the top of every escalator for what I deemed the express purpose of telling mothers such as myself, about to put their children in apparently compromising positions, that strollers are NOT allowed on the escalator. Got it. Back track 50 yards to the nearest elevator and wait for 15 minutes because every other stroller in the friggen mall is waiting too. AND because there seemed to be a complete lack of  elevator etiquette. There are few things that drive me more bonkers than people trying to get into an elevator before everyone is out. I was starting to get agitated…

We arrive at Carrefour where I grab a cart and tell the security guard up front that I am going to park my stroller while I shop the massive store. Rookie mistake #3. I got a swift, NO. Rrrright. I’ll just fold up this here stoller then and stick it in my cart, put Tessa in the seat and drag Bode, who walks in 4 directions at one time behind me. After 10 minutes of trying to drag said spinning top behind me, and zig zagging every which way because the store was laid out like a European round about, I told Tessa I really needed her to switch her brother. She really, really did not want to and began to pitch a mighty fit. It had been a long day for us all, but there wasn't one ounce of me that was dealing with a fit at this point. Rookie mistake #4. Don’t fight the fit. For some reason, I’m still trying to figure out, it wasn’t until she tried to bite me, yes, BITE MY LEG, in the aisle, that I came to the conclusion I had clearly gone about this adventure all the wrong way. Exasperated I dragged my brood and my stroller filled cart with half the items I actually needed to the check out. There some old man tried to kiss my blond children while I may or may not have said some really strong curse words in my head to the security guard who wouldn’t let me park my stroller, because this was clearly all his fault and we walked out to catch a cab.

I returned home totally defeated. What I thought was to be (read cheerfully) “our first big outing all on our own!!!”, was a disaster. I put the kids to bed, fought back tears of frustration and then,  surely, an angel reminded me of a piece of advice a friend had given me before I left the US.

“One thing that I learned when I taught in India is how important it was to let my pre-concieved ideas of what I thought life is supposed to be like fade away.  While you are abroad allow yourself to take a breath, step back and truly soak in your surroundings.”

Precisely what I needed to hear. My pre-conceived ideas of what I thought a trip to the grocery store or the mall or any other place, is supposed to be like needs to fade away. I am not in America. I do not have an SUV that I pull up to any ole Target or Albertsons 3 days a week. I don’t take my stroller up and down the escalator like I do whenever I want at Mission Viejo Mall because it’s quicker, because I am not at Mission Viejo Mall. Just because my stroller would never be stolen at the Laguna Niguel Target, really doesn't allow for me to spit profanity in my head because the security guard doesn’t want to be responsible for my stroller. I am not in America anymore, and life does not operate like I am in America. I need to let my pre-conceived notions what I think life is supposed to be like fade away. I need to figure out a different way, a better way for here, for me and my kids.

This will not be the end of my frustrations, of that I am sure. Patience never was by strongest of virtues. Frustration and impatience will probably be exacerbated once I land on Saudi soil. But if I can remember this brilliant little tid-bit now and again, perhaps it will remind me that this is a temporary, once in a lifetime opportunity and if I spend the next few years wishing it was more like where I came from, I’ll leave never having lived it. I can’t let that happen, what a tragedy.

I will however, take a cab to Carrefour next time. Or wait for Wade.