Dear Tessa

You are four. What in the world? I feel like 4 makes you an official kid. You have left your toddler years behind and entered kid-dom. This is exciting but also makes me dreadfully sad, of course, you know this because dad and I tell you all the time to stop growing so fast and you respond, “I know, cause it makes you guys sad.”

You are four, but going on 14. You want so badly to be a “big girl”. Three days after your birthday you told me, “Mom, in 9 days, I will be five.” You observe big girls sooooo closely. Comment on what they’re wearing, what they’re doing and saying and ask always how old they are. You loved your babysitters in California and still talk about Haley, Megan, Taylor, Paige and Eliza. I’m grateful that for the past few years you have had great big girl examples. You always have a purse over your shoulder that is filled with about 15 varieties of lip gloss. You love make up and watching you put on eye shadow is one of the more hysterical things in my life. You love to do it to me and I always look like a clown, but you tell me I look beautiful, that I look REALLY good and I of course always tell you I love it. You are very complimentary and are always quick to point out if you love someone’s shirt or shoes or dress. You have an eye for fashion! Or your own version of fashion anyway! You are obsessed with high heels and always point out when you see a pair you like. If they’re too high, you notice that too, telling me, “Mom, she is probably going to fall in those!” You remain devoted to pink, sparkles, fancy dresses, swimsuits and all things girl.  You love to build forts and you love to play babysitter. You come to my door, have me invite you in and give you directions on what to do. You lay out our pretend games, just so. Down to what I ask and say. You still love to dance and continue to surprise me with how good you are at it. You’ve recently developed an affection for gymnastics, perhaps the Olympics were the tipping point. But we often play balance beam and watch you do fancy variations of the somersault. Your cartwheel leaves something to be desired…

You remain a little smarty pants. You can count to 50, with a prompting here and there and know your letter sounds. C and K and S still confuse you, but that is entirely the English language's fault and not yours. You did great in school this past year. You looked forward to going every Tuesday and Thursday and so did I. I knew you were happy and taken care of there and if we’re speaking openly, it was a good little break for you and I. It was good for you to spend some time away from your mom and brother. You are still a spicy little number. I never know quite what will make you snap. These days when you want to show your disapproval of my plan or method of discipline, you will tell me no less than 3 times that I am rude, not your friend and most recently, much to my chagrin, that I am stupid. That never works out well for you, I am hoping you figure that out sooner than later, you big crazy. I remain confident, that when channeled in the right direction that smidgen of feisty is among your greatest assets. I love that you will not be rolled over, that you can hold your own and that you have no problem telling someone no. Just the other day in the elevator here in Dubai, a man wanted you to have you give him a kiss. He kept motioning you over and you stood there firm with your arms by your side, looking him straight in the eyes with a look that said, “Dude, in your dreams.” I was so proud when you stuck your hand out for a high five. It was awesome.  Everyone here wants to take your picture. Your beautiful blue eyes and golden hair are an anomaly and I love that everyone around me thinks you’re as beautiful as I do. You are so pretty Tessa Jane. You have the most perfect little nose and lips. You remain an itsy bitsy and have apparently heard me tell you enough times that you’re a peanut, that you call me one too. You’re starting to get a little taller, but you are still skinny minny.

You are turning into a great a big sister. Now that Bubba is getting big enough to play with you and follow you around, you’re usually pretty good to let him do so. I would often find the two of you together up in your bedroom playing kitchen, or in the family room with books. You are helpful and sweet with him and always good to share your treats or snacks with him. He thinks you’re the bees knees and while you still do your fair share of teasing and bugging him, I have been proud of the way you have grown up this past year in regards to your brother. That was not an easy transition for you, but I think you are finding and will continue to find, particularly here in the Middle East that Bode makes for a pretty good buddy and it’s nice to have one around most of the time.

You love your dad and really missed him when we were separated for so long this summer. You asked for him often and when things went wrong, would cry for daddy. I know it broke his heart to be so far away from you. He loves you so much and thinks you’re such a cool little kid. It was been fun to watch you be around him again, you want to color him picture after picture, hug him and prefer him at bedtime. The scream, “Daddy!!”, followed by a run into his arms at the Rome Airport after 12 weeks without him will remain in my memory forever.

You are a great conversationalist and I love to talk to you. I ask your opinion about lots of things and you always give me a straight answer. You talk well to adults and are good to remember your please and thank yous. You love your cousins and grandparents and Lou the dog. You are a great little phone talker and have long talks with dad on the phone when he’s out of town. You still at times hold your cards close and remain stoic until you decide someone or a situation is ok and then you’re happy to jump in. You make friends easily when you choose too. At the hotel here, you are quick to buddy up to someone at the park or to share you mermaid and toys with the kids at the pool. It has been a bit of a heartbreaker for your dad and I the past two weeks knowing how desperately you want a friend. We know they are coming, once you get into school and ballet, we know you will find some.

You are witty and smart. You are brave and strong willed. You are determined and know what you want and usually how you want to go about getting it. You are pretty, generous and have a raging sweet tooth. You are my favorite 4 year old and my favorite girl. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather spend my days hanging out with. I am excited about these next few years and all the exploring we’ll get to do together. You love to explore. I think you have a great year ahead of you. I can’t wait to see what it has in store. Mom and dad love you more than we even knew was possible. Happy Birthday to our 4 year old.

Love,

Mom